I can't even comprehend how much our life has changed since last month. It has been exactly one month since our lives fell apart. In on respect it seems like just yesterday but in another respect it feels a lifetime ago. Everyday my mind goes back to the exact moment that I saw Aidan not moving. I replay every moment of those few minutes in my head atleast once a day. I can still feel my hand on his chest not feeling it rise. But in those same moments it feels a lifetime ago since i've been able to hold my baby. What I wouldn't give just to be able to hold him one last time and for him to stare into my eyes and give me a half real, half gas smile.
I had my first dream of Aidan while I took an afternoon nap today. I don't remember alot about the dream, however I remember holding him, he was swaddled in ALOT of striped hospital blankets, and all I could see was his face. He felt weightless in my arms. I was talking to a little girl who couldn't have been more than five years old and all of a sudden he was in my arms. I woke up half expecting him to still be there, but of course he wasn't.
Mike and I can't thank everyone enough for all of the cards and prayers. It is a great comfort to know how many people care about our family. There aren't enough words to describe how forever grateful we will be.
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Celine Dion - Fly
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
5 comments:
it think of you guys all the time. im sure today is a hard one for you both.and for a long time to come all of you will be in my thoughts and prays.your stergth through this has been amazing love and kisses frannie
Laura & Mike,
I thought of you and Aidan all day yesterday.
I was remembering everything that we did that day. The fun we had and then the moment that would change lives forever.
I love you all very much.
Mom
You are always in my prayer I wish I could take away the pain
Love you guys
Pascale & Bryan
i love you lala
Mike and Laura:
We only recently found out and we're absolutely heartbroken. I am sitting in silent law library trying to contain my emotions. I will be reading the rest of your blog to find out everything that happened. Last we talked to you he was doing so well. You and your son have been such an incredible inspiration to us.
Tyler
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